Questions on Top of Questions

I have almost been here 5 weeks and my stay is almost half way done, which is hard to imagine. It has been a huge transition here to Africa and to the ship. I have fallen into a routine and now I have begun questioning.

When we are back home we know that Africa has a lot of need and that things are bad over here but you have no idea how massive it is until you get here. When I first got here you see the surface problems but after awhile you see how deep the issues go. I have begun questioning why are we helping a nation or maybe the continent that doesn't want to help itself? Benin isn't all poor, well at least in Cotonou. There are some, granted it is very few in comparison to the whole population, that have a lot of money. There are some buisnessmen who drive BMW and have western style houses. Why aren't they helping their own people?

Also are we doing any good at all? I believe that all NGOs do both harm and good and you just hope the good out weighs the bad. I know that we are performing so very life saving surgeries here. There are many people here that have tumors that are slowly suffocated them or making them starve because their tumor is pressing on their esophagus or trachea. Also there are other surgeries that restore large wholes that are missing out of people's faces. This all being the case, are we making a lasting impact or we just helping individuals have a better life and if so is that what Africa needs?

There have been a lot of books that have written recently discussing that foreign aid is not helping africa and in fact that is harming the continent, which I believe. The USA, World Bank and UN, all have good intentions but they are giving massive amount of money to Africa and it going into the hands of the corrupt and it is not making a difference. So what does Africa need then? I am a big supporter of micro-financing is that the answer?

When did all this poverty in Africa start? This is a vast continent that has a wealth of resources but it is so far behind the rest of the world?

I have also noticed that life is a lot more expendable here. In Benin the average life span is 55, which isn't too bad. However there is no fear of death here. Death is common. I have seen many mothers who are disconnected from her child and it is often due to the child having a defect and some are as little as a cleft lip or cleft palate. I try to look at it through the women eyes and I guess when there is no form of both control and you have a lot of babies and many of them die I guess it is easy for that to happen, I am not sure. Then the question arises how do you teach someone that the child or person has value because they have life in them?

There are so many questions and I will have ton more. I don't regret coming here or helping out Africa but I will still continue to question. Maybe I will know the answers one day when I got to heaven, maybe.